Way Out

One of my friends at Pitt told me today that she was offered a job recently. I am so happy for her. She is a sweet young woman, very gentle, and considerate. Two years ago, I temporarily lived in her apartment for a summer because of a teaching position. She accommodated me with pure friendship and warmth. I still remember the nights that we spent together having long chats, and watching YTYCD or American Idol together. We also watched a musical with a group of people in that summer. We had dinner in a sushi buffet twice.

She's a devoted Christian. She believes God's words full-heartedly, and God does show her THE way and love her the way she loves HIM.

I remember I called her one of my darkest days. She said: "We should drop off our worries. If it turns out we both find good jobs, our current worries will become a total waste. God will lead." At that time, I was surprised how cheerful and peaceful she could be in face of a hard dissertation project, a committee member who is not that nice, and uncertain future. But looking back, I do find my worries and stress caused not by the workload but by the feeling of uncertainty and insecurity are such a waste. She seems to have more courage than I do in terms of dealing with the time of crisis. I think that courage comes from her belief, from HIM.

Big bless to you, my friend. After the whole PhD thing, I do believe that there's a way out for everybody. The key is HOW we deal with uncertainties and hardship that we don't expect/welcome in our lives. I do believe that suffering, in some way, is a blessing. He knows that I can handle the suffering because I am stronger than others. In other words, I deserve the suffer. I hope I deserve it, at least.